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If you have divorce questions

What is the First Thing I Should Do if I Want a Divorce?

Preparing for Divorce

Since divorce is inevitably a major change in anyone's life, it is wise to begin planning for a divorce before actually beginning the divorce process. A suitable divorce plan will involve mentally preparing for divorce and gathering information.

It is wise to attempt both marriage counseling and individual counseling before pursuing a divorce. In the event the parties are not able to mend their relationship through marriage counseling, an individual counselor can help a spouse to approach divorce in a healthy way. If you are considering divorce, you should think about how separation from your spouse will impact your children, finances, property, etc.

Planning an Exit Strategy

As you familiarize yourself with the divorce process, you can begin by creating a written plan or exit strategy to help you get through the process with the least possible amount of loss or damage.

Gathering Information

If you are beginning to prepare for a divorce, it is best practice to collect and maintain copies or records of your important information. This should include deeds, monthly bills, credit cards/loans, bank or financial accounts, costs associated with child(ren), etc. Once you have gathered and reviewed all your important information, you can develop a better understanding of how that information fits into the big picture of your divorce.

You can save time and money by gathering these items before hiring an attorney, because it will assist any divorce attorney you consult with in evaluating your case. In addition, once your divorce has been filed, you will likely need to produce these documents to the other party, through the Discovery process.

Telling Your Family


Once you have mentally prepared yourself, gathered information, and consulted with a family law attorney, you should consider how you will tell your spouse. Then, in order to avoid tension with your spouse, it is best to discuss together when and how you will tell the child(ren) about the divorce.

Written by: Rebekah Ann James

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